Artificial

 Lite

December 2013 - iPerch nano

 

From the water’s edge

 

Fresh from of the mouths of idiots?


I haven't fished with Rob for ages. When he was at school, he was a positive embarrassment, fishing the pants off me and his dad week in week out. I had only to mention that a big fish had declined my best efforts and he would pop back after school and catch it, getting his dad to give me the good news over the telephone about yet another big double he had caught that I had failed to. But back then he was still young.
Since then he has been through university, got a degree in journalism and is now making a living out of his fishing. Still showing me up in fact.

But then, on our last trip, out, I had the twenty and he had to suffer me getting twenty years of payback.
Today he turned up in his swanky bmw to do his duty for the elderly. He could take me fishing now. And I have moved on too, perch are my species of choice, so I was looking forward to visiting his water and giving him a master class in tiddler snatching. Experience is all, after all. I didn't really expect it to be listened to, especially after he had so recently sneaked out a 3-14 canal perch a week or two ago but I had the dibbling and the 1" kopytos to trounce him with. Fat chance.
It howled at us, it screamed at us, it dumped truckloads of water on us, but not once did the weather let up.
We struggled, God how we struggled. I dibbled and cast, 1", 2", 3", even 4". Red, yellow, pink and natural; you name it I used it but for four trying hours - nowt - we caught half of nothing each.

It wasn't completely dead, I missed half a dozen of the smallest bites detectable in a typhoon. Rob lost a couple of goers, on and off in an instant. Sticks I say, decent fish he says; but still we were dead level and bumping along the bottom.


 

 

“We had about forty last time we fished here.”
“I've only had one blank that I can remember this year.”
“Perch are everywhere, I've never seen so many!”

I hate to think how many classic swims we wasted before, in a final desperate bid to maintain my 'one blank this year' prophecy, I began dibbling like a man possessed, with a purpose born of desperation and embarrassment. I willed something to happen so hard it hurt my head, and it worked. Not once, not twice, but three times in quick succession. I caught three nano perch. Probably the three smallest I have ever caught on rod and line. One was so small, I had to quickly pull the one inch lure out of its mouth just to stop it choking. Any smaller and it would just have been its daddy's wet dream.

Then Rob, now reduced to a sad excuse for an angler, caught one every bit as small as mine were.
Never in the field or by the canal has so much been owed to so few or so small, by two supposedly competent anglers.
The future is iPerch nano iSay. Big fish are so yesterday aren't they? Yes, iShall call it minimalism.

artificial lite
I hope that you find my journal interesting and entertaining. If, having read this, you think that I am talking rubbish then at least you have stopped and thought about it long enough to come to that conclusion which is something of a result in my book. If you would like to comment on this article or anything else relating to my website, please feel free to contact me using the adjacent form. Feedback is always greatly appreciated and very helpful when it comes to improving both my site and my angling. Thank you for looking.

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